-
My Take On Attachment
The other day I witnessed an object of attachment from afar. It brought on big feelings, irrational feelings. It got so bad in such a short span of time that I had to pull myself back to look at these feelings closely and figure out what the fuck was going on. You would think something…
-
Attachment
I love you, I want you, and it’s not enough. I want to crawl under your skin and it’s not enough. I want to fuse my soul with yours and forget what humans do. Only then will I rest, maybe then it will be enough. It’s not enough to desire you, unless one day I…
-
A Loss
(Grab a drink. This is a long one.) I had something ripped away from me & it stored as trauma in my brain. The details don’t matter much because what I might consider a big loss might not be so bad from your perspective. And this isn’t about comparing tragedies, or one-upping each other with…
-
Love Of My Dreams
The love I dream of occurs in my dreams. The love of a friend. The love of a lover. It is all perfect in my dreams. Exactly as I want it. Exactly as I need it. Never tired. Ever generous. Unconditional yet free. But as smoke in mirrors, it disappears It’s only ever a dream.…
-
Whatever Suffering I’ve Endured
Whenever I feel despair, I write. Sincerely, with my heart on my hands, I ask for help, and I receive it. Someone who is not me, but is also a wiser me, answers. After a while, I named that voice Ale in Power, or AiP for short. This is a fragment of a conversation we…
-
Life Nudges Me To Be Me Again
Note from future me: This was written in June 2022. Spoiler alert. I didn’t end up going in the colorful direction I thought the real me was asking me to (an artistic extroversion of sorts), but I did muster the courage to come out as queer. On the other hand, the overall, general direction I…
-
Enraged
Why does this happen to me? If I believed in a God I would question him: Why did you make me like this? What for? What’s the reason? Burning in anger, then burning the bridges I didn’t even see were there. I’m stunned at the speed at which it overcomes me. I’m stunned at the…
-
Time For Myself To Be Seen
I don’t even remember how long I’ve wanted to do this for. Write a blog in the style of a journal, personal and sincere. I guess I was afraid of being seen. But it turns out living a life in which I am part of the background is more of a nightmare than a dream.…
-
Why I Write In English Now
I need to listen to my childhood Self. She knew things, she wasn’t biased, she wasn’t afraid, she was a free thinker. And for some reason, when she was lying in bed one night, she resolved: “I must speak English like a native by the time I’m 18”. I don’t remember the words exactly, but…
-
Lo Que Aprendí Este Año
Entrando a los 33, me pasa la batuta Ale de 32, jadeando, despeinada, y me dice: + Por lo que más quieras, siempre mírate en el espejo antes de encontrarte con otro ser humano. No sé cuántas veces salí de la casa o de mi cuarto pareciendo pájaro electrocutado, o con comida en la cara.…
Subscribe
Enter your email below to receive updates.
lotokunst.wordpress.com 